Updated: Oct 29, 2018
Self-knowledge and awareness is invaluable; it's that inner voice you feel in your bones and when you listen to it and act from this place it's well grounded and things begin to change and grow. It feels like less like forcing and more like a dynamic and an engaged dance of deep trusting in yourself. But we're often not taught to navigate insight in early life, some of us stumble upon it if we're lucky and others experience a spark of light and become curious to know themselves more deeply and take long journeys inward over a lifetime.
Often parents (mine included) use punishment as a way to guide behaviour and teach what is right or wrong despite there being overwhelming scientific evidence that is not an effective form of behavioural modification. The problem with your parents telling you something is simply wrong and punishing you based on their opinions, experience and authority is they don't empower you with a sense of agency. The idea of trusting an authority because it is an authority is not only dangerous it can begin to impact on your ability to truly know yourself. I see this damage in many professional fields where you can get 'expert advice.' If you look deeply into expert opinions you will find there is often many different view points. With factual information being targeted in politics and media our discernment is needed by adults more than ever before.
Most of our parents we're well meaning but if they we're not consciously aware of themselves they are just repeating the same patterns of their parents. Everyone knows when you feel wronged by authority it can lead to negative emotions like self-doubt, worry, guilt, fear or shame. As we grow up many of us find our way through these tumultuous emotional landscapes toward a guiding authentic self and a longing for more harmony in life and relationships. But you need to become aware of the self-defeating thoughts you have carried around for so long, feel into the emotions in the body, get to know them, integrate the whole self and be supported by someone you can trust who can hold a safe space for your inner work.
Learning to cultivate healthy states of mindfulness, self-compassion, curiosity and kindness can slowly start to transform early conditioning and help adulthood to emerge.
Living your truth and expanding on this confident and self aware sense of self; means consciously feeding, protecting and nourishing the goodness we know on some level is intrinsic. Having the freedom to evolve, being happy and relaxed and contributing to make a better world for all is about crafting each day in an authentic way that is responsible and meaningful to you. Can you imagine a world where everyone was aware of their thoughts, emotions, instincts and living in harmony with others?